S.O.S. Date Auction w/ MC Rachel Gordon and DJs Sweet Tits & Candy Nips at Carabar 1/24

Maybe you've heard about some of the struggles we've been having at the shop lately and want to know how you can help?  The most awesome thing you could do is tell everyone you know about this Date Auction we're having at Carabar next Thursday the 24th at 9:00, and then come out and bid on your friends, secret crushes, favorite local celebrity, or a total stranger and snag yourself a Valentine's day date!  Rachael Gordon of CD102.5 will be MCing and auctioneering the event.  Come drink drinks, buy records, bid on buddies, and party all night for fun and to help us keep the lights on!

Sneak Peek of who's going on the auction block (check back later for more to come):

This is Columbus' own Massie Lawson, the little sass with class and a nice ass. Massie was born under the sexy stinging sign of Scorpio. A rare mix of culturally refined manners and country charm, Massie will scream lyrics along to Angel of Death in the car while wearing a fancy dress for an expensive night out! Intelligent, funny and voluptuous, this vixen will be sure to turn heads when people see her on your arm. Massie's passions are music, bunnies, beer, Obama, zombies and hating Lars Ulrich for his crimes against humanity. By day Massie is an Ambassador for the awesome Dark Horse Brewing Company, and by night she is a stunning, PBR drinking, punk rock socialite.  The lucky guy or gal who wins a date with this lovely specimen of a lady is in for the night of their lives. A date with Massie will begin with a romantic dinner at a fine Columbus Dine Original restaurant and end at a hole in the wall bar with a good juke box, and if you're lucky, a hot make-out session.

Ben is a single, 22-year-old, college student majoring in Medieval & Renaissance Studies and an employee at the greatest record store in town, Dreadful Sounds. He’s a total book nerd and metal-head, but every once in a while he can be a perfect gentleman. He enjoys fantasy novels, gory horror films, and table-top gaming.  His skill with languages will be sure to impress you, and if you'd like this fancy dinner date to be romantic, Ben can speak to you in French should you so desire.  Ben is offering one lucky winner a date at The Refectory on Bethel Road – his treat!  He is available most evenings and for Valentine’s Day. You should bid on Ben if you like good food and enjoy conversations about heavy music and medieval history, possibly in another language.

Meghan is a friendly Pennsylvanian valley girl who likes to laugh and have fun. She hangs out in front of dive punk bars and drink Bulleit, but a lot! She cleans up nice when she’s not sweating over a drum kit, so bid on her if you need a chick to make your ex-girlfriend jealous! Conversations with her usually center around art and music, and local gossip, but don’t worry if you’re the shy type, she loves to do the talking. Your date can be dinner and a show, but you may want to pay, because she is used to bummy ex-boyfriends making her come out of pocket!

 Dru “Strictly Business” Silver is the sexy shredder behind such serious Columbus acts as Locusta and Artillery Breath (check out those “guitar arms” girls)!  He also owns his own business, Guitar Lessons Columbus, and enjoys touring and traveling, going to shows, reading self-help books, cuddling, and whatever you cooked him.  The date will be whatever you guys work out.  He’s open to any adventure the two of you can come up with.

Eleanor loves Aragorn, but would never want him to cheat on Arwen, so she has resolved to be content with waiting for his twin brother (insert spoiler) who loves Human Women that like to dance the Twist, drink wine, cook with food from Carfagna’s, and regale them with stories of growing up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, being Italian, and reading lots of books.

At the end of the day Eleanor smokes very few cigarettes compared to other smokers, has been told she sings like an angel and knows the meaning of rare, medium rare and well done.

Her idea of the perfect date is good food, music, and re-enacting scenes from When Harry Met Sally while imagining she is in Twin Peaks and sipping neatly on Bulleit Rye.

You are bidding on local bald bearded and beautiful sound-man, Brad.  Brad is a Leo born on the hottest day of 1976. He does sound at Newport, plays guitar and sings in Battle Axe, and helps run the fabulous Club Sandwich. He is known for his supreme sense of humor and amazing partying skills. 

Brad Simkins is a native son of Columbus, OH, the greatest city in the world. He was raised by his mom and his three lovely sisters, so you know he knows how to treat a lady right.  Whatever lucky gal gets the highest bid on this stud is in for a night of pure adventure and pleasure. You will be the "star of the show" as Brad takes you to the same places he’s been going for thousands of years in Columbus where you will feast and drink like the queen and king that you are!  You and Brad will be greeted and entertained by Columbus' finest in local celebrities, artists, creeps, watseoids, drunks, bloofhounds, and musicians!

Brad likes Slayer, Jeopardy, long walks in the park, foosball, food, fucking, and fun.

Jen Ryan is one of Columbus's elite hipsters with her avid bike riding and employment at a local brewery. She loves long walks on the beach, roasting coffee beans, and trend setting. Jen is a total hottie, obviously, and loves to dress up. She dislikes wearing jeans, but damn they like wearing her. She is a talkative girl and won’t be awkward. If the date goes well, she might not ditch you for your roommates. Jen has secret connections at the Zoo that includes free admittance. Otherwise the tab is on you. As an added bonus, she is free after 8pm on Valentine's Day.